Help wanted I


In the movies, whenever a character needs a job they will take a pensive stroll down a main street, only to be roused by the sight of a Help Wanted sign in a storefront.

The magic is simple:

If you need work, just lower your head, furrow your brow and dig your hands into your empty pockets as you walk, wishing upon the starry sparkle of the nearest empty shop window. Choose appropriate background music.

And make sure you walk alone. The sign is more powerful if you’re by yourself. It becomes like a little, rectangular cardboard Jesus, bidding you to follow it.

And thou shalt say Yes.

And thou shalt enter yonder store and, lo, the manager shall raise his eyes to thee. Thou shall say the words I give you and he will bless thee with employ as thy handeth shake…

Sometimes, life is like the movies.

In my case, the store was a pizza bar, my brow was 16 years-old, the appropriate music was You Give Love a Bad Name and the words on the sign were misspelled.

Drivers wonted

It was a bad sign.

It spelled danger.

And, as I found out, that place was going to be anything but Jesus.


~ by Daniel Townsend on June 6, 2013.

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